"I know your face..." "I know your life."

One thing about me is that I remember people's faces and names quite well and, for the most part, many of my interactions with them and/or things I learned about them from them. Sometimes I look up random people from my kindergarten class that moved away on Facebook just to see what they have become, even though they probably have no memory of me (kindergarten was a while ago, after all). This also happened on my mission when we would try to talk to people in the streets. Of course, those who would brush us off like dead flies were certainly ejected from my memory, unless their refusal was particularly rude, which made them almost easier to remember. But whenever we actually did have a meaningful conversation or at least one that lasted longer than 30 seconds, their face was etched in my brain and sometimes we would see them again and it was a bit awkward. Do I acknowledge that we know each other even though I never found out your name or do we acknowledge each other even though we had a ten minute debate on the existence of prophets today? Or the most common question: Do you remember me? And even though it is probably hard to forget two young Americans stopping you on your way to work, it still almost inevitably became an awkward game of alternating eye contact until the moment comes when you must make a decision, which usually turns out as a head nod.

Is it obvious that l I overthink things?

The reason that I overthink this particular thing is due to the fact that often I remember people, but they don't remember me. At least it appears so. Therefore, when I meet a slight acquaintance from a few weeks ago or a friend of a friend that I met at a party, I usually remember them, but I'm never sure if they remember me. I saw a great example of this the other night. I was visiting Temple Square tonight with a good friend. We were entering a building and I opened the door for myself and my friend held it for some people after me. As I waited for my friend, the group of young people walked past me and I instantly recognized one of them. It was a missionary from my mission but quite a bit older than I was and kind of looks like a dinosaur. I sort of stared at him trying to see if he had recognized me, having already met on several occasions. Nothing. I wasn't offended but I did want to tell my friend who was with me (also from the mission) that I knew who it was. Then, before I had a chance, the older missionary turned back, looked at me strangely and our conversation went as follows. Italics are my unvocalized thoughts.

Him: Excuse me...do you speak _____?
Me: Yea, I do.
Him: Did you serve in the ________ mission?
Me: Yea! And so did you. Your name is _____ ______. You were my Zone Leader for a transfer. I've actually seen you several times on campus already.Him: Hey, me too! When did you get home?
Me: In June, so it hasn't been a super long time. You went home in December of 2010, right after my six month mark. I remember your last testimony at Christmas Conference. You mentioned that you really learned to talk with God on your mission.Him: Ok. Who was in your group?
Me: You trained my friend Elder ______ but to avoid any possible awkward situations which would arise from showing that I know more than I'm saying, I'll mention him third or fourth. Oh, Elder So-and-So, Elder What's-his-name, and Elder _______
Him: Ok, cool, I trained him!
Me: I know. In Brest. Really? That's awesome. Good to see you!
Him: You too!

Is this normal?!

Now, obviously that doesn't truly follow my true stream of thought during the conversation, but in the moments that followed it, I certainly did a mental run-through of all the things I remembered about him. One factor that may play into this one-sided memory lapse can be based on the fact that when you are older in the mission, you aren't really aware of younger missionaries, but when you are new, you learn to know everybody. So maybe I'm not crazy. At least not in this given instance.

This also happened in one of my first class periods this semester. A girl from a dance class I took when I was a freshman walked in and I remembered her instantly. After a few days she looked at me funny and said, "I think I know you from somewhere, but I can't think where." It's the dance class that we both took fall and winter semesters. You were also in my English class winter semester. When my turn came to present myself in front of the class, you asked me what my favorite dance step was that we had learned. You had long hair that you chopped off into a pixie cut that you are still sporting. Yea, it's so weird, I know you too.....Oh, I know! Dance class freshman year!

From her tone of voice, I suspected that she remembered too and was merely being socially correct. This leads to my big question: Does everyone remember faces and I am just ignorant of it? Is it so necessary to maintain social grace and avoid coming off as creepy that we feign temporary amnesia? I know I certainly do. How off-putting is it if you go around reciting every fact you know about a person that you haven't talked to more than a handful of times in very casual settings that took place over two years ago? I think a lot of people would want to forget me if I did something like that.

I guess this is what they call a social conundrum because I'm not sure what the solution is. As uncertain as I am of the solution, I'm equally certain that I cannot be the only one to whom this happens. But I'm not as certain that there needs to be a solution. It's not a problem, but just something that occurs once in a while in everyone's life. (But if there is a solution, please tell me.)

Conclusion? Usually I like to tidy things up in nice bows at the end of talks, papers, and now blog posts. In formal papers for school, if you look at how long my conclusions and body are in proportion to how much  time was spent on each, conclusions will leave the body far behind. Everything has to be summed up in just the right way. So I'm breaking  my own rules here and even going against my character in saying that I have absolutely no resolution or conclusion to offer.






That was really hard to type.